An answer to my question

My last post is on private and will remain that way, but the whole post was about my doubts on single parenting. I had some questions but soon after I wrote the post, I found my answer! This is reposted by , from a wonderful woman who has been married over 30 years and has more than a few children LOL A Place Called Simplicity. Thank you so much; this post was so inspiring!

 

Should A Single Woman Adopt?

It’s 2:10 AM and I have not been able to sleep.
I knew this question was churning all day
in my heart for a reason!! This question has come
up so many times, and even more so with
the post the other day about our treasure Elizabeth,
that I just had to address it publicly.

I am thrilled that so many are wondering and
praying and asking.

Here’s my thoughts…..

I have often heard people say, “I am praying to see
if this is the Lord’s will for me. I have such a
desire to adopt, but I am single.”

There are two concerns that come to mind with this question:

1. Is it God’s will?

2. But I’m single…

Whether it’s about adoption or really anything else –
when praying about “God’s will” we must first
find out if it in any way contradicts with scripture.
If it does, then it is most definitely NOT God’s will.

When this applies to adoption, the question should be…..
“Is there anywhere in scripture where God says,
“Do NOT care for the orphans”?”

Of course there is NOT!!

Almighty God says there
are two things that show true religion:

{1} caring for the orphan
and
{2} caring for the widow.

There is not one place in scripture that I am aware of
that God says, “You are single, sit back and take 
it easy, the care of the orphans is only for them-thar 
married folk.”

Not a chance!!

The Lord has one definition of “true religion”:

“Caring for the orphan and widow”
James 1:27

He did NOT say that pure religion was being a:
pastor; staff pastor; Bible college employee;
Sunday School teacher; world evangelist; prophet;
deacon; elder a nice person or anything else…..

He simply said:


show me you love me by caring 
for the orphans and widows.

Okay, so now is it God’s will that single people
{specifically} care for them. At the risk of sounding silly:
How could something that is clearly God’s heart
not be His will for you?

I tend to think that people who struggle with this question
are truly struggling with this:

I want this so bad, I must not be worthy of it.

{And that would be a lie from the pit of hell.}

Sweet bloggy friends: God has given you ONE life to live.
It is only to be lived for Him. If it is lived for Him,
He will one day say, “Well done thou good and
faithful servant.” It is not to be lived to please
yourself but to please Him and only Him.

So how could God’s will be different for you just
because you are single?

It isn’t.

It is the same.

We are to live to please Him by taking care of orphans, caring for the widows, serving the poor, giving our things away, living to meet the needs of others not our own personal wants.

If you are looking for permission to adopt – here it is:


God’s word says to do it!


He does not have one standard for married people 
and one standard for the single person.

In fact you are in a better position! I hear from many
married folks whose heart wants desperately
to adopt yet their spouse says, “not a chance”.
{To which I say: fast and pray for a change in
your spouses heart, but don’t tell them you
are fasting for that reason.}

The other day I was downtown with Dw. Infact, come
to think of it, it was our anniversary. We had some
time to waste as we were waiting for our dinner
reservation time. We went in a little shop and
there was a sign for sale.
It struck me funny.
You have to remember we have been
happily married for 31 years
{to the day}…..
but that sign said:

Any woman wanting a husband has obviously never had one

I laughed when I read it. I am a counselor by trade.
I have talked to a bazillion ladies who are so
unhappy with their husbands. And I have talked
to more than my share of women who were once
single and thought that happiness would come
when they found that perfect man. Only thing is
that that perfect man doesn’t exist. And today,
there are even fewer Godly men in existence.

You can wait for that perfect man and waste valuable
years that could have been spent raising precious
little ones in desperate need of a mommy.
Two parent homes are thought by many to be ideal, but really….who says that has to be?

Ever asked an orphan?

“Ummmmm, excuse me. I am single. I want to be a mommy…
but I am waiting for a daddy…
so in the meantime you sit there and enjoy
that orphanage….cause I’m sure you’d rather
be one of 400 kids….with no one to kiss your boo-boos
or listen to your dreams while I sit over
here waiting for Mr. Right.”

Yeah, I don’t think so.

There are kids all over this world who are longing
for someone to say, “You are mine and we’re in this
together. We may not have a daddy at the moment
{or maybe ever}, but we will let God be your daddy
and I will be your mommy, and by the way
He happens to be a really cool daddy, infact He
is the only Perfect Daddy.”

Here are some kids that you could pose that question to:

Would you rather have just a mommy and not a daddy

OR

Would you rather wait, hope, dream that someday a mommy & daddy come for you?

I applaud the courage of some of my sweet bloggy
friends like: Carol {in northern Colorado}, Sandee,
and Nancy…..just a few of the women who have said,
“I am not married, but I can be a great mom and
I’m not waiting for a husband to do that. I will care
for the orphan because that’s God’s will for all of us!”
You guys have my utmost respect – may God pours
heaps of blessings on you and your children!!

So maybe you’re still not convinced……take time to
fast and pray and study scripture…..just for starters
take a look at these folks…..

Esther….who God used to protect the Jewish nation
from certain impending death….Esther was raised by her
uncle…and there is never a mention of an aunt.
(Doesn’t mean there wasn’t an aunt,
but she obviously wasn’t very important to the story.)

Or how about Moses……drawn out of the water and
eventually lived with Pharoah’s daughter….
never a mention of Pharoah’s daughter’s husband….
(Doesn’t mean there wasn’t one, but he obviously
wasn’t very important to the story.)

And on that note….I am 100% convinced that
single women should adopt.

I am 100% convinced that it is God’s heart.

I am 100% convinced that He will meet every single
need each one has as they are in the process
and throughout raising each child.

I am 100% convinced that God has a child
in mind for each of you who are willing to say,
“Okay, I’m going for it!”

I am 100% convinced that the body of Christ has been called
to partner with singles who adopt to make
their road smoother.

I am 100% convinced that there are kids all
around this world wondering and praying and
begging God if there couldn’t possibly be
a mommy out there for them?

I am 100% that you will make a great mommy!

I am 100% convinced that His plan for you is NOW!

Baby Fever

It hit! Baby fever! I want to have a baby! Not right now but soon. I’m still really young and I have a lot that I want to accomplish before any baby-making goes down, but I also know that having children or at least one or two children is a part of my plan in life. You never know how things are going to turn out in your favor, and this isn’t a plan really, but I just know that I want to have kids and I want to have a successful husband who is going to help me with the kids. I just want a great family and though I’m not going to settle, and if I have to wait until I’m thirty or even forty before that happens to me then I will. If I can’t have kids naturally at forty then I’ll just adopt. My plan was to have one kid biologically and a second kid by adoption. I’m not averse to adopting all of my children but I am adverse to IVF. Not ruling it out as a possibility if I did wait that long and couldn’t do it naturally, just saying I’m not crazy about it and it’s not plan A or B (or C LOL). I really feel as though I’m moving into a moment of wanting to have kids a couple years after college. Maybe around 25. I just want to make sure that I have all of my ducks in a row before I start on that journey lol. I want to be able to give them everything. I want them to travel the world, learn new languages, go to great schools, and have everything that they need. My mother has done a fantastic job in raising me and my older brother. Anything that we needed she bought, anything that we wanted, she bought (she still buys lol). She has supported us through all the highs, the lows, and the I don’t knows. I can’t wait to do that for my own kids. Now I just need to finish college, get my business up and running, and find that husband. I hope the husband part isn’t going to be too much of an impediment LOL. I’m not settling for any ole’ one but at the same time, I’m just not into the chase. I know relationships are hard and I’m willing to work through that, but the initial getting together … I just want someone who wants the same thing that I want. I want someone that wants to be successful and marry, have kids with, and love that successful woman and their children. I don’t want to have to put up with someone who is just stringing me along or pretending to share the same value system that I have. It would totally and completely drive me up the wall and I would be majorly pissed off. There are plenty of women out there who are willing to fuck around with you, don’t waste your time on me and don’t have me wasting my time on you.

So anyone reading this I’ll leave this last tidbit of information that yes I’m only 18, soon to be 19 in two more weeks. Yes I am young, but NO I AM NOT in anyway saying in this post that  I’m running out to be knocked up and left with a kid that I cannot completely care for by myself at this point in time. I am merely expressing my feelings of baby fever, which are totally and completely natural. It’s okay to feel the urge to want to do something as long as you don’t act on it irrationally (shopping is an exception to this as long as you can put your money where your mouth is lol). So please do not bludgeon me over this blog post and please don’t rant over a million things that I already know about like how much hard work babies are and how you can’t give them back. I already have people in my own family who had kids young and it’s a great incentive for me not to follow in their irrational foot steps.

Now without further ado, I leave you with a million pictures of some of my favorite really cute babies and dome really cute maternity shots!

Gorgeous Girls!

Vogue Bambini February 2011: To The Rhythm of the Blues by Claus Wickrath

Vogue Bambini & Enfant

Okay, I care what no one says, I love Vogue Enfants and Vogue ninos, and I love love love Vogue Bambini (and Milk). For those who don’t know, Vogue Enfants is the child, baby, and preteen version of Vogue for France and Vogue Bambini is the same but for Italy. (All run by different editors and are separate entities really). I have only physical copies of Vogue Bambini because Vogue Bambini is the oldest and there are copies available at Barnes & Noble.  I love the clothes and accessories and the cute little layouts and models. They’re just too dang adorable to resist!!

Ballet des debutantes (Love this editorial, it just makes you want to have a little girl quick so you can sign her up for ballet, buy her a bunch of cute little tutus and practice different buns)