I’ve started a new blog. I’ll still be using this one but my new blog will be more geared towards my fitness stuff. Here it is.
1. Drawing: I’ve been working on my drawing. I’m still a very remedial artist LOL. But I want this to happen. I want to be able to draw my fashion creations. Having my own line of handbags is very important to me. It’s very important to be able to draw what you want to be made before you can send it off to be made. The people making it need a visual lol. I want to be able to draw out the creations that I come up with and I also want to learn how to use photoshop and illustrator. Right now my plan is to draw everyday and go slow and keep going no matter how frustrated I get. I do see that the slower I go the less frustrated that I get.
2. Nursing: Still doing pre-reqs. This semester was hard. My GPA took a MAJOR hit! I’ll be retaking the two classes I’ve done horrible in this semester past. I’ll be retaking one this semester and the other next semester but I’ll be taking three classes in all this semester: re-taking A&P I, Microbiology, and US History II AKA the GPA booster. Then I’ll be re-taking Chemistry the semester after this one coming up along with Statistics and any other classes that’ll boost my GPA. I’m also switching to a campus that is closer to my home so instead of an hour and eighteen minute commute, I’ll have a forty-five minute one by car but hopefully I’ll be having someone to at leas take me to school every morning and pick me up but if not both, I’ll hopefully have someone to at least take me to school in the mornings. Long commutes can be really hard on you. I’ve been doing the hour plus commute for almost two years now and I have to say it’s been dragging me down for A VERY LONG TIME. I love the campus that I’ve been studying on but the commute is a killer and it’s a bus stop on every corner, it ALWAYS crowded, the bus can break down and traffic be congested which makes that commute EVEN LONGER than the HOUR and 18 minutes (which I believe is more like 30 on average) it already is!! I also know that I will be spending more time at the library that is close to my home. I cannot study at my house. My father is a total pain in the ass who is always annoying me. But I do get distracted by my own stuff like surfing the net and reading everything but my textbooks. Anyway, here’s to a better Fall 2013!! I’m going to keep my head up and keep going.
3. Thinking about the future: ALWAYS! And always worrying about it.
Right now I’m reading The Secret. I have to say, so far I’m really liking it and it is inspiring me. I’m on a part of the book that talks about gratitude and how gratitude can change your life. I don’t think everyone has heard that before, though I’m sure a lot of people have, I’ve heard it before. My mother has always told me: “Be grateful!” (sometimes shouted it lol). It’s not something you really think about when you’re younger, but now that I’m older I am. I want to be grateful for what I have, less selfish, more giving. Rhonda and all of the teachers in The Secret say that you can’t get further in life, change your life, get more out of it and all of the things that you don’t have but want, if you’re not grateful for the things and people that you already have. So without further ado, here is a list of things that I’m grateful for, that I came up with this afternoon:
1. My mom
2. My health
3. Waking up this morning
4. The past 19, almost 20, years I’ve spent on Earth
5. My grandaddy (may he RIP)
6. My brother
7. My house
8. The food on my table
9. My dreams and ambitions
10. My college experiences so far and all of the amazing people I’ve met so far
11. Living in a democracy
12. Being free
13. Being ME!
I’m sure there are other things that I’m grateful for and I’ll be adding those things/people to my list. I want to start every morning saying what I’m grateful for. (It can be kind of hard as I’m SO NOT a morning person and so when I wake up I just want to be grouchy and complain LOL)
I need my own bathroom!
This early morning, like other VERY, VERY, VERY early mornings before them, I ha and upset stomach and had to got to the bathroom so bad! (Use your imagination, that way I won’t have to get all TMI!) I get up to go and who else in the bathroom but my brother. He’s always in the bathroom, at the most inopportune time, and VERY, VERY, VERY few times is he urinating! Then to top it all off, he never turns on the fan!
My mom, my dad, my brother, and my grandmother moved into the home that we currently live in the summer before last (2011). It has a lot of space and though it’s not perfect, it’s pretty nice. But the thing is that I don’t think any of us (esp my mom) thought about all of the deal breakers in this house, like it only having two bathrooms. One bathroom is on the second floor and one bathroom is in the basement.
The bathroom upstairs seems to always be occupied by my brother. Though we have a second bathroom in the basement, it’s reserved for my grandmother. The rest of us, which now includes three foster children, cannot use the bathroom my grandmother uses b/c she can’t use the b
This whole situation then leads me to these other thoughts, conclusions, and feelings.
1. I’m annoyed that my my brother is always in the bathroom. = My mother needs to take him to a doctor AGAIN! She took him to a doctor when he was a lot younger to see if anything was wrong with him b/c he has always immediately pooped out everything that he eats. I do feel guilty when I yell or kick up a fuss about him being in the bathroom. I don’t like when people rush me out of the bathroom so I don’t want to have to do it to anyone else but then again it has to be acknowledged once again that I’m no the one always in the bathroom and then for a very long time.
2. Annoyance at my grandmother getting her own bathroom. = I’m annoyed that my grandmother gets her own bathroom AND because she can never make it to the bathroom or leaves a mess of sorts so I cannot use it AT ALL! This then sends my mind onto something that I don’t always want to acknowledge because it’s guilt inducing and I guess mean. But the fact is that I feel it anyway, so better to acknowledge it. I resent the fact that my grandmother lives with us. I know that’s mean and horrible & I’m probably a selfish (I do have selfish tendencies so it’s very possible and something I need to work on) person because of it, but there it is.
A couple of years ago my grandmother & three cousins came to live with us. This was when we still lived in our INCREDIBLY small house in WJ. It was a nightmare, everyone was on top of each other, someone was always yelling (my grandmother mostly), the boys didn’t want to follow the rules at all. At our new though, my grandmother is the only one that lives with us but even with just her I still feel like we got the short end of the stick. I hate that feeling! Everything changed when everyone who lived with my grandmother decided that they wanted to move and not care to take her with them. My mother was the one who paid the rent for the house she lived in and bought food. My mother was the one who took in my three cousins when she died of aids a couple years ago. My mother is now the one who has to take care of her everyday and no one in the family helps at all. Heck, no one in the family even calls her let alone comes to pick her up and take her out. Everything changed when she came to live with us, and though I’m not the biggest lover of change, I’m not completely adverse either. I just in no way like how during the high school years everything seemed to change for the worst.
3. My diet is pissing me the fuck off! = Though I’ve not been been eating huge quantities of food, the quality of what I’m eating is crap! It’s really pissing me off and I need some fresh food and lots of vegetables and lots of fruit. I’m trying to really get on track with that. I can’t wait for winter to be officially over and for the Farmer’s Market to open. I can’t wait to get a job so that I can pay for my own trips to Whole Foods. I know how to do the right thing. Then there’s the fact that I think my stomach is naturally sensitive to a lot of things now that I’m older (good Lord! that makes me sound old! For the love of God, I’m only 19!). But the fact is that my stomach has a love hate relationship with a lot of foods. One day I can eat a hamburger, simple hamburger that’s most turkey these days, and it’s like my stomach has gone to heaven. The next day if I try to have one my stomach says fuck this LOL. The same for other foods. Of course, I’m completely lactose intolerant. I can’t even eat a milk chocolate candy bar b/c my stomach just … and yes I still eat milk chocolate sometimes lol, complete knowing that my stomach will hate me for it. I try to drink it with extra cold water b/c that for some reason calms the stormy seas of my stomach lol. I most definitely have to keep my diet simple and I gravitate to more simple dishes: fruits & veggies, little bit of chicken or beef, pasta w/ no meat. Nothing too crazy, nothing too greasy, and most definitely nothing junky!
The more problems I experience with my stomach, the more I feel like I’m ready to go vegetarian.
4. Uncertainty about my future making me upset which in turn is making me physically sick = I’m stressing about my future a bit lately. I’m on track to finish my requirement credits so that I can apply to a nursing program. I want to work for two years as a nurse and then become a traveling nurse. Unless of course I decide to move to another country and work there. I’m seriously considering moving to one of the Scandinavian and countries. I’ve always loved Denmark and Norway, beautiful countries with incredibly high standards of living. I don’t think that I want to be a nurse for the rest of my life, at least not for money. I think I’d like to do more volunteer work. Financially I want to make a living with my own fine jewelry collection. I just have no idea how much money I will need to fund that and get my business off the ground. I’m going to do it but I’m nervous and I want it to succeed. To be independently wealthy is very much a goal of mine.
There’s so many things to think about as you get older and start to set off on your own and in this economy …. #UGGGGGGGHHHHH!
So there’s my rant, I’m done. I have officially released all of my issues that I’m dealing with at the moment. That’s what I love about writing down my feelings. Every time I do so, they’re no longer knocking around my head as loudly as they were before. It’s 3:40 AM now and I’m going to go finish filing in my study guides for my A&P Exam and practical that I’ve got coming up.
Good night/Good morning! 🙂
The college semester officially ended a couple of days ago. Since then I haven’t been doing anything. I went to the mall one time with my mom and we visited the art store. I bought a new sketchbook, pencils, and drawing books. We didn’t get anything from the mall but we ate and enjoyed the atmosphere. I haven’t been anywhere else, partly because I’ve been tired and partly because I’ve been sick. I love school but it always brings stress and craziness. This semester was the worst though, because I had a biology class that was really hard and it also determines whether or not I can advance to Anatomy & Physiology I, which I’d already signed up for before I’d taken the final in BIO lol, in the Spring. It was just really . Last I checked I had a C in both the Lecture and Lab parts of the class. I want a B, so I hope with the final it averaged out to a B. I have serious doubts on that front, but don’t worry I just need a C to move onto A&P I. I also had four other classes to deal with. So it was a lot and I was just going and going and going, and now that I’ve finally the time to rest, I’m seeing how tired I am lol. As for my being sick, I’m lactose intolerant and have been indulging in way too much dairy. No more masochism for me!
So without further ado, here’s what I’m doing over my month and a half Winter break:
1. Practice my drawing.
When I was in about my Senior year of high school, I started sketching. Like everyone who starts out, I was not the best. I grew frustrated, not to mention busy with school, and i just stopped doing it. I regret that majorly. This time around I’m going to keep going and I’ve even bought two books that are much more basic, so that this time around I can start small instead of trying to be Picasso without knowing the basics lol. I want to learn how to draw because it’s a great way to express yourself, but I also want to one day soon open my own fashion line and accessories. I gravitate more to accessories though. I want to do shoes, jewelry, gloves, and swimwear. My being able to draw is going to be impertinent to being able to express my ideas and have others understand why i want.
2. Finish reading The Golden Compass 2 & 3 and various other books on my Nook
If my memory serves me correctly, I started reading the second book in the Golden Compass trilogy last year! LOL. It’s so pathetic that I have not finished reading both the second and third book by now. I’ve also more than five other books on my nook that I haven’t read and about 5 books in print that I’ve bought and haven’t cracked open yet.
3. So! A needle pulling thread! 🙂
I want to learn how to sew. I think it’ll be a great way to express myself once again. Sewing is actually something I’ve always expressed an interest in, since I was a young child actually but I never got around to fulfilling.
4. Not stay in the house all the time!
Over anything my plan is to not stay in the house my whole break. I have no money, but I plan to spend a lot of time at the three different B&N’s in my town. I love B&N. It’s really relaxed, you can just sit for free all day working or reading and no one cares or tries to beat you over the head for not buying anything lol. And I may not have a bunch of money but there’s always somewhere affordable to eat.
This is like the second post to the previous one. I’m more about the college tour I took today with my CC. It was so much fun; we visited Stevenson University formerly known as Villa Julie. It was cool driving there, me and my friend Josh were pointing out all the beautiful multi-million dollar homes. [When people think Maryland they automatically think Baltimore City, which has pockets of wealth in some areas, but the state overall is very wealthy. I wanna say especially the counties, but it would be kind of only the counties, really because Maryland is not a big state. We have some cities, and though I haven’t been to all of them, but besides Baltimore, I don’t think the rest are as urban as Baltimore lol. Anyway, the wealthy (millionaires/billionaires) basically live in the counties is the point I’m trying to make, and in really nice houses].
When we arrived to the school, it was just small and fresh and nice and quiet. There are two campuses. The Owings Mills campus and the Greenspring Valley campus which is 15 minutes a part and more into the country. There’s a dining hall on each campus, though the one on the Owings Mills campus is much more exciting (just don’t order Alfredo noodles, they sucked). The dorms are amazing (we didn’t get to see the apartments, not enough time). There’s a MAC room on the Greenspring Campus, the libraries are really great, there are game rooms, a coffee cafe [there’s one on Goucher campus too]. There’s just so much and a lot of stuff that we didn’t even get to see because there wasn’t enough time and we had to go visit Goucher, but it was amazing. One of the student guides said that the parking spots were small, and when we went outside for the actual tour and I saw the parking spots up close and really looked at them, and I have to say they are DAMN small. There was a Mazda parked, and we all know how small they are, it was a little over the line on one side!
The university has really expanded and plans to continue expanding within the next two years when they add new facilities near the Owings Mills campus for the Science and Design schools. One of the guys who works at my school, we’ll just call him C, graduated from Stevenson and as we we were driving to the Greenspring Valley campus we noticed these vacant buildings and our director J said that they reminded him of old mental institutions. To which C replies that they did in fact used to be mental institutions and in fact the school is thinking about buying that. I hope that they do. I would really love to see the school expand in terms of facilities. I hope that they don’t expand in terms of students though. There are so many students like me who are looking for small, tight-knit colleges and universities, Stevenson and Goucher provide that and I hope they continue to. I want Stevenson to be more like Goucher in terms of facilities.
The student guides also talked about how rigorous Stevenson was and I like that. I want to be challenged and I want a great education and I’m willing to put the work in. The school is also very heavy on providing students with skills and know how that are going to [Goucher is the same way] carry them through their entire working careers, skills that they are going to be able to use no matter what you decide to do because now a days people have many jobs/careers unlike 20/30 years ago when people would work at one job their whole life.
Fun Facts: I learned that the girls outnumber the boys 2.5 to 1 lol. I also learned that the building dedicated to the athletes for their workout and wellness used to be the training center for the Baltimore Ravens.
I really wish I had some pictures to show that I took on the tour but since I don’t here are some pics I found online. The campus is really beautiful:
Goucher of course was amazing. I mean the academics are out of this world and I have to say though it may be expensive, [don’t worry no one pays sticker price] you get what you pay for. There are so many freaking facilities! There’s even a room just for pilates (dancers get to take classes for free)! There’s a dance room, art studios, the library is on humongous, there’s a computer room filled with MACs that use both MAC and PC format and the regular PCs are just on the other side. There’s a stable that houses 35 horses, an outdoor basketball court, an old indoor basketball court for practice and fun, and a new one but we didn’t get to see that. There’s a court inside one of the buildings just for indoor volleyball, tennis courts outside, swimming pool inside, a weight room, and two cardio rooms. Lots of green just to lay on. It’s just a big and beautiful sprawling campus. Once again another a rigorous academic setting.
Here are some pics of the Goucher College Campus:
This is the Anthaneum. It’s one of the newer buildings, it’s really awesome, the floors are made out of recycled materials and the ceilings basically have huge skylights that allow for the lights to be turned off during the day.